One person’s tale of their lockdown visit to Lidl has swept social media and people are equally confused and amused.
The tale involves one man, a weekly shop and some rope. What transpires is a beautiful story of teamwork between a bunch of Lidl-goers.
I don’t want to rope you along or waste your time, but you’re knot going to believe this. No, you literally won’t, it’s obviously a joke.
Here’s the story in full, enjoy…
“A warning to all: avoid using Lidl in Dewsbury at the moment if you can.
I’ve just got back from a truly awful shopping trip there.
Having queued up, patiently and socially distancing, as I neared the entrance a shop worker clipped a carabena onto the belt loop of my jeans, my perplexed expression must have said it all as she explained that whilst people are distancing in the queue outside, they aren’t distancing once inside the store.
So what some dinlo has dreamt up is to rope six or so customers together with 2m of rope between each of us!
WTAF?!
Well these are strange times and with the threat of a second wave of infection I thought I’d best not complain and just toe the line (or perhaps ‘tow’ the line would be more appropriate!).
I’m telling you now, what an absolutely idiotic idea this is.
We negotiated our way in to the store, some with trolleys and others trying to grab a basket before the berserk conga line drags them away
I was near the middle of the rope picking up some veg, the woman at the front, who was trussed up like a kid in a harness was trying to drag the whole line to the apples and the bloke at the back trying to pull the other way to get his hands on last week’s courgettes which were now this week’s courgette offer.
It was like tug-of-war for the deranged.
It’s embarrassing to say, but I lost it, started ranting and raving about the rope and how the hell are people meant to shop like this, I went to unclip the carabena which miraculously brought the attention of the staff who told me I’d be asked to leave the shop if I unclipped.
“FFS we’re not rock climbing, we’re trying to buy cheese” are words which I’ll carry with me to my grave.
Strangely this outburst had the effect of bringing our train together as a team.
We carried on now with lots of communication, people passing stuff along the line to other to fill their baskets.
Now I know passing things to one another could spread the infection as much as person to person contact but I honestly think if we hadn’t have done, I’d still be there now.
As we started along the aisle I generally refer to as “biscuits and creosote”, it was clear from the melée that all was not well in the adjacent aisle.
As far as I could tell there had been 2 trains of people and a lady in the middle of one chain had ducked under the other to get her hands on a pop-art cat bed.
The tangle had resulted in a multi-pedestrian pile up in which the epicentre resembled the deity Durga, it wasn’t clear how long they’d been there but one old chap was trying to free himself by feverishly sawing at the rope with his house keys.
We navigated the remaining aisles without major trauma, other than having to rescue Doreen (2nd in line) after she fell in the chest freezer trying to reach the last beef Wellington.
We were individually unclipped prior to the till, at which point any camaraderie we’d had quickly evaporated as everyone scrambled for the first available till.
With the ordeal still impeding rational thought, it was a welcome and familiar sight to have the check out throw all my shopping on the floor in the normal 1000mph fashion.
I really did not appreciate being strung along like that, but I hope you were!
And if you really want to be entertained, wait for the comments from those who don’t read the whole thing.”
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Well there you go. I’m not sure how some people don’t realise it’s a joke to be honest…
A school boy has set the example of all examples after he got to work single-handedly shifting eighteen tonnes of rubbish that had been fly-tipped along a country road.
Sixteen-year-old Daniel Lewis has earned the nickname ‘SuperDan’ by locals after he set out on a mission to clean up the streets around Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales.
As a part of his selfless commitment, Daniel has organised litter picks and a community skip scheme to provide free skips to villages around his home town.
@Daniel Sam Volunteer / Facebook
And, in the last year alone, Daniel has removed over eighteen tonnes of rubbish and litter, most of which had been fly tipped onto country roads. The waste included old furniture, children’s toys and clothes and 130 used tyres.
And, upon hearing of Daniel’s mission, local businesses such as the Bryn Group of Gelligaer, started donating their services to help him dispose of the rubbish for free.
Writing on Facebook, Bryn Group said: “We were only too happy to be able to help Daniel with his quest. 18 tonnes of fly tipped waste is hard to comprehend and yet it was up there. Thanks to him it’s no longer blighting our landscape.”
@Daniel Sam Volunteer / Facebook
And Daniel, who is also an avid nature and wildlife photographer, uses his social media accounts to post reminders about the importance of preserving natural land.
He wrote: “Remember, it is not someone else’s duty to pay to dispose of your waste that you are responsible for.
“Out of respect to Volunteers like myself, companies who have provided the skips and services like Step Up Skip Hire and the beautiful countryside and farmers land, please think twice about fly-tipping and morally remember- YOU purchased the items to begin with, therefore it is YOUR responsibility to dispose of the waste correctly.”
The kind-hearted people of Manchester have been thanked after a local refugee charity received a wave of donations for those fleeing Afghanistan.
Following the Taliban’s take over of the country earlier this week, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that over 20,000 Afghans will be eligible to be resettled in Britain, with women and girls given priority status.
The first evacuation flight from the war-torn country arrived in the UK on Sunday, with the second touching down late on Tuesday night, and another landing early on Wednesday morning.
In response to the news that a number of refugees will be housed in hotels near Manchester Airport before being placed in more permanent accommodation, local charities have been appealing for donations from the public.
And, when the charity Care 4 Calais issued an urgent appeal for donations of men’s clothes and other items such as shoes, basic toiletries, stationery, and phone chargers, the people of Manchester responded remarkably.
The charity has since received dozens and dozens of bags and boxes of donations, which were delivered throughout the day from people across the city at one of their numerous drop-off points, one of which is at Beetham Tower down Deansgate.
A huge sum of money has also been donated, with the charity surpassing their initial £30,000 target for the ‘Afghan Welcome Packs’ with £40,000 in donations.
Founder Clare Moseley, who set up the charity in 2015, said on the efforts: “It’s just been fantastic.
“I’m a Northerner myself and we’re really proud of Manchester for responding in this way. We’ve had numerous locations accepting donations for us and I believe they are pretty full. We have had people bringing car loads and van loads of stuff.”
Clare added: “I think the North is always welcoming and it’s just fantastic to see communities coming together like this.”
For more information on how you can help the refugees fleeing Afghanistan, visit the following links:
Here in the UK we love a good jaunt, whether it be in the countryside, around our local park, or on our way to work.
However, it turns out that our love for walking isn’t a global thing because, according to one American this week, our passion for getting out and about on foot is completely bewildering to those on the other side of the pond.
Taking to Reddit, the American user expressed their disbelief after finding out that a ‘thirty minute walk’ is considered a ‘short walk home.’
Brett Jordan / Unsplash
They wrote: “I was listening to an ITV true crime podcast yesterday, and the person said ‘it was a short walk home, about thirty minutes.’ Is that really considered to be a short walk home?
“I can’t fathom walking that far in the US and considering it anything I’d do just to get home. Do people walk that much in the UK?”
They clarified in the comments that they were being serious, explaining that ‘most of the US just isn’t set up for walking.’
“No sidewalks, crazy drivers, plus just distance. Americans don’t walk. Also, where I am in Indiana, there is no mass transit. Indianapolis has it, but it’s scarce and quite unreliable. We drive everywhere. As in, everywhere.”
@areksan / Unsplash
Of course, the post was quickly inundated by amused British users who all couldn’t quite wrap their heads around a world of no regular walking.
One person wrote: “Thirty minutes is only a mile and a half, you’re joking aren’t you? I take my dog longer walks.”
Another noted: “I can’t speak for all people, but I would hate to meet the person to whom a 30-min walk is considered some sort of unusually length trek of incredible proportions. For any normal healthy person it’s about 1.5miles.”
The NHS website states that a brisk ten minute daily walk carries an array of health benefits and counts towards your recommended 150 minutes of weekly exercise.